200motels.net
Insanity in Service to Humanity
Comedy
Tragedy
Nonsense
Bullshit
e-mail: dean@200motels.net
Considering the fact
that nobody has got a
sense of humor
anymore, and
everybody's an
unbelievable prick, why
do we continue to write
this garbage?
BECAUSE WE CAN'T
HELP OURSELVES!
Check out our past
issues.
Click here for
200motels SOLID
GOLD!
BLAH BLAH BLAH YAK YAK YAK. As Little
Red Ridinghood once appropriately
complained, when the wolf threatened to
eat her, "Doesn't anybody fuck anymore?"
If we got to hear one more freakin cell
phone conversation, we are going to
collectively puke. CELLPHONE RAGE!
Our fearless correspondent, who has spent
a lifetime advising New Yorkers to stick
things up their butts, decides to take his own
advice. NO FLY ZONE, or A Voyage of Butt
Discovery.
Find life boring? Take a little trip down
memory lane with 200motels. I'm So Bored!
Whatever you have to do, try to stay out of
court! Once you fall into the clutches of the
lawyers and the judges, abandon all hope all
who enter here. We recently found ourselves
in court, and the results were not pretty. Here
are our conclusions about the court system.
SUPREME STOOGES
Kiss me, ya big
lug!
"Fast Eddie" Barack Obama
blows into Washington DC and
challenges Fatman Rush
Limbaugh in an epic pool game
with the soul of America as the
bet.
The DC Hustler
The Jews of New Jersey are just as stoopid and
boring as the Italians or any other group that
resides in the Garbage State, and they are
demanding to be represented on national
television like anybody else. Therefore,
200motels presents the real reality (as opposed
to the fake reality) of their reality! We got the
show that’s taking the turnpike by storm,
“Jersey Jewz”, featuring Marty, Ernie
and Howie, three rejects who got kicked out of
yeshiva for stealing girls bras and selling them
as combat yarmulkes with chinstraps. These
guys are such misfits, their mothers took one
look at them and swore off sex.
I went to work for this idiot because there was a
depression going on, and I needed a job. I gave this
guy a good effort, considering the lousy pay. I even
helped him to achieve a good collective bargaining
contract, which he never would have gotten without
my talent. So how did he pay me back? He forged my
name on legal documents which left me exposed to a
$20,000 part of his tax debt. He harassed me
unmercifully, for fun. Finally, he told me, "I don't like
your face!"
Now, I admit that I am not too beautiful, but look who's
talking! When I heard that, coming from this dork, I
knew I had heard enough. I flipped him the bird and
walked out the door.
When I complained to Page 6 of The New York Post,
Toro used his influence to get that suppressed.
When I published a poem about him on my blog site,
he threatened the web site with a lawsuit, and they
deleted the poem. This guy was getting away with
murder and throwing his weight around like the
freakin' King of Broadway.
But all good things come to an end, and he finally got
caught, which proves that everything I wrote about
him was true. So, now that he is convicted of felony
Grand Larceny, maybe his influence has diminished
enough for me to reprint my poem about him, which
he had suppressed. So I am reprinting my poem, this
time on my own web site, and see if this guy has still
got the clout to shut me down!
THE BALLAD OF HELMER TORO
End Gun Violence Now!
Stab Somebody Instead. It's
environmentally responsible.
See Story
"Veni bevi vomi" - Julius Caesar
[I came, I drank, I puked]
200motels salutes Matthew Clemmens,
Philadelphia's Pukemaster General, who
vomited his way into America's heart.
THE DUKE OF PUKE
EAT, PRAY, PUKE
O BEER-O MIO!
A Love Poem to Beer
The Greatest Story Ever Told!!!
Obama And Hillary as told by The Ol'
Brewmeister, William Shakesbeer:
OBAMALOT
Who's Crazier Than
Jackie Mason? Nobody,
except 8,000,000 other
New Yorkers. Is Jackie
too Jewish? You decide:
"Jackie Mason, The
Ultimate Jew Live On
Broadway"
GOP Shithouse Theatre
Presents
Sarah Palin in "BLOOD LIBEL", the
Republican Horror Movie That's Sweeping
The Ocean Floor! Featuring all the other
freakin GOP Bottom-Feeders!
200motels Animated
Feature "Barack Obama's
School For Handling
Women", where Obama
instructs French President
Nicholas Sarkozy and
Italian Prime Minister
Silvio Berlusconi on how to
conttrol their women!
http://goanimate.com/movi
e/0sqb8cXWOm_0/1
The Russian Plot to Take Over the NBA!
Brooklyn Nets &
Nutz
200motels Animated Feature: The
Osama bin Laden Miracle
Kitchen visits bin Laden in his
desert cave hideout, where he
demonstrates his line of kitchen
appliances. Watch as bin Laden
deep-fries Iranian Pres. Ahmadinejad
in a turkey cooker and makes a
tasteful dining table flower
arrangement using a guy's severed
head for a centerpiece. Eat your heart
out, Martha Stewart!
http://goanimate.com/movie/0sqb8cXW
Om_0/1
AMERICA'S HOOKERS GO ON
STAND-UP STRIKE!
200motels Animated Cartoon: "The Three
Stooges On Trial For Steroids". The Trial of
The Century, where the Stooges are forced
to testify before Congress.   
http://goanimate.com/savedMovie/0XoWqw
Rqq9Qk/0/1
Japan's Fuckyoushima Nuclear Plant enjoys a little
barbecue, courtesy of Japan's greatest tempura
chef, Godzilla Fuckahama!
"Care for a milkshake?"
"Pass the pork chops!"
200motels Animated Cartoon "Forty
Second Street", wherein William
Shakes-beer, the Great Bard of
Brooklyn, takes us on a little walking
tour of the Great White Way
http://goanimate.com/movie/07U7wD
s7jMkk/1
Forty Second Street
"We want crack!"
Refuse to lie down on the job!
What do women want? 200motels
conducts a survey of New York Hookers!
200motels Animated Cartoon:
"O Beero Mio", a love poem devoted to
man's greatest devotion: Beer!
http://goanimate.com/movie/0zhF3xbuARKU?
utm_source=linkshare&uid=08PheEfpnjPQ
BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES!
TIMES SQUARE T-SHIRT
BUY OUR BOOKS or you'll be sorry! Be the
first on your block to lose your mind by
reading our literary classics, which are only
available to people with cash:
REPUBLICAN POLITICS
Rick Santorum Recounts How He Brought
His Dead Baby Home To Meet His Family.
What a weirdo!
We Vote Republican!
HOW ABOUT A NICE
DICK
SANDWICH!  IT'S
FROM FRANCE
OOH-LA-LA! For all the
latest trends from
France, click here to
find out why the French
language has no word
for soap.
200motels Animated Cartoon Feature: "Stick Out Your Can
Here Comes The Garbage Man!"
200motels Animated Cartoon Feature:
Have You Seen My Wife?
"I plead insanity!"
"We have to stop meeting
like this!"