| 200motels.net Insanity in Service to Humanity |


| Comedy |
| Tragedy |
| Nonsense |
| Bullshit |
| e-mail: dean@200motels.net |
| Considering the fact that nobody has got a sense of humor anymore, and everybody's an unbelievable prick, why do we continue to write this garbage? BECAUSE WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES! Check out our past issues. Click here for 200motels SOLID GOLD! |
| BLAH BLAH BLAH YAK YAK YAK. As Little Red Ridinghood once appropriately complained, when the wolf threatened to eat her, "Doesn't anybody fuck anymore?" If we got to hear one more freakin cell phone conversation, we are going to collectively puke. CELLPHONE RAGE! |













| Kiss me, ya big lug! |
| "Fast Eddie" Barack Obama blows into Washington DC and challenges Fatman Rush Limbaugh in an epic pool game with the soul of America as the bet. The DC Hustler |
| The Jews of New Jersey are just as stoopid and boring as the Italians or any other group that resides in the Garbage State, and they are demanding to be represented on national television like anybody else. Therefore, 200motels presents the real reality (as opposed to the fake reality) of their reality! We got the show that’s taking the turnpike by storm, “Jersey Jewz”, featuring Marty, Ernie and Howie, three rejects who got kicked out of yeshiva for stealing girls bras and selling them as combat yarmulkes with chinstraps. These guys are such misfits, their mothers took one look at them and swore off sex. |



| I went to work for this idiot because there was a depression going on, and I needed a job. I gave this guy a good effort, considering the lousy pay. I even helped him to achieve a good collective bargaining contract, which he never would have gotten without my talent. So how did he pay me back? He forged my name on legal documents which left me exposed to a $20,000 part of his tax debt. He harassed me unmercifully, for fun. Finally, he told me, "I don't like your face!" Now, I admit that I am not too beautiful, but look who's talking! When I heard that, coming from this dork, I knew I had heard enough. I flipped him the bird and walked out the door. When I complained to Page 6 of The New York Post, Toro used his influence to get that suppressed. When I published a poem about him on my blog site, he threatened the web site with a lawsuit, and they deleted the poem. This guy was getting away with murder and throwing his weight around like the freakin' King of Broadway. But all good things come to an end, and he finally got caught, which proves that everything I wrote about him was true. So, now that he is convicted of felony Grand Larceny, maybe his influence has diminished enough for me to reprint my poem about him, which he had suppressed. So I am reprinting my poem, this time on my own web site, and see if this guy has still got the clout to shut me down! THE BALLAD OF HELMER TORO |

| End Gun Violence Now! Stab Somebody Instead. It's environmentally responsible. See Story |

| "Veni bevi vomi" - Julius Caesar [I came, I drank, I puked] |



| 200motels salutes Matthew Clemmens, Philadelphia's Pukemaster General, who vomited his way into America's heart. THE DUKE OF PUKE |
| EAT, PRAY, PUKE |
| O BEER-O MIO! A Love Poem to Beer |



| The Greatest Story Ever Told!!! Obama And Hillary as told by The Ol' Brewmeister, William Shakesbeer: OBAMALOT |


| Who's Crazier Than Jackie Mason? Nobody, except 8,000,000 other New Yorkers. Is Jackie too Jewish? You decide: "Jackie Mason, The Ultimate Jew Live On Broadway" |

| GOP Shithouse Theatre |
| Presents |


| Sarah Palin in "BLOOD LIBEL", the Republican Horror Movie That's Sweeping The Ocean Floor! Featuring all the other freakin GOP Bottom-Feeders! |
| 200motels Animated Feature "Barack Obama's School For Handling Women", where Obama instructs French President Nicholas Sarkozy and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi on how to conttrol their women! http://goanimate.com/movi e/0sqb8cXWOm_0/1 |


| The Russian Plot to Take Over the NBA! Brooklyn Nets & Nutz |

| 200motels Animated Feature: The Osama bin Laden Miracle Kitchen visits bin Laden in his desert cave hideout, where he demonstrates his line of kitchen appliances. Watch as bin Laden deep-fries Iranian Pres. Ahmadinejad in a turkey cooker and makes a tasteful dining table flower arrangement using a guy's severed head for a centerpiece. Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart! http://goanimate.com/movie/0sqb8cXW Om_0/1 |
| AMERICA'S HOOKERS GO ON STAND-UP STRIKE! |
| 200motels Animated Cartoon: "The Three Stooges On Trial For Steroids". The Trial of The Century, where the Stooges are forced to testify before Congress. http://goanimate.com/savedMovie/0XoWqw Rqq9Qk/0/1 |


| "Care for a milkshake?" |
| "Pass the pork chops!" |


| 200motels Animated Cartoon "Forty Second Street", wherein William Shakes-beer, the Great Bard of Brooklyn, takes us on a little walking tour of the Great White Way http://goanimate.com/movie/07U7wD s7jMkk/1 |
| Forty Second Street |

| "We want crack!" |
| Refuse to lie down on the job! |
| What do women want? 200motels conducts a survey of New York Hookers! |
| 200motels Animated Cartoon: "O Beero Mio", a love poem devoted to man's greatest devotion: Beer! http://goanimate.com/movie/0zhF3xbuARKU? utm_source=linkshare&uid=08PheEfpnjPQ |




| BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES! |

| TIMES SQUARE T-SHIRT |

| BUY OUR BOOKS or you'll be sorry! Be the first on your block to lose your mind by reading our literary classics, which are only available to people with cash: |




| REPUBLICAN POLITICS Rick Santorum Recounts How He Brought His Dead Baby Home To Meet His Family. What a weirdo! |

| We Vote Republican! |

| HOW ABOUT A NICE DICK SANDWICH! IT'S FROM FRANCE OOH-LA-LA! For all the latest trends from France, click here to find out why the French language has no word for soap. |


| "I plead insanity!" |

| "We have to stop meeting like this!" |