| 200motels - Hi folks, I'm your announcer, 200motels, and we're in New York City at the studio of the great Eye- talian sports sculptor, Giuseppi Lumbago. So I'll just knock on the door. [Knock Knock] Lumbago - Whosa dat? 200motels - It's 200motels. Lumbago - Well, go away! I'm expecta company! 200motels - Mr. Lumbago, I have the TV crew out here! [Door opens] Lumbago - Hurry up and come in. I thought you was the landlord. 200motels - Oh, lookit the cute little statue of the cat! It's so lifelike. Cat - Yaaaaahhhhh! [Runs away] Lumbago - Dats-a no statue. Dats-a my cat. He's covered in plaster dust. 200motels - Sorry about that. Now here's an impressive sculpture! Lumbago - Dats-a my new sculpture of Eli Manning. See, he's gonna throw the ball. But before he can throw, he's a-sacked by the Patriots and he lose-a da ball. See, dat's why his eyes bug out an' he no gotta da ball in his hand. 200motels - Say, what kind of marble is that? Lumbago - Dats-a no marble. Dats-a mozzarella cheese. Marble's too hard and it hurts da hand. Dis way if you get hungry you just pull off a finger from da hand an' you pop in da mouth. Lemme give you a piece. You want Eli Manning's ear or his nose? 200motels - I'll try his nose. Lumbago - Here, Ill just pull off da nose. Ha-ha now Eli Manning no gotta no nose! Dats funny! He don't need it anyway. 200motels - It tastes pretty good. What's that statue over there? Lumbago - Dat's Mike Piazza from da Mets. He's a-run to first base. But look - he's a- run funny. You know why? ‘Cause Roger Clemens throw de broken bat at him and now he's a-got a piece'a da bat jammed up his butt. So he's a-run like he got a load in his pants ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 200motels - That's pretty funny all right! Lumbago - And looka Clemens, he's gotta hypodermic syringe in his butt from where Brian McNamee shot him up with a asteroid. 200motels - You mean he shot him up with a steroid. Lumbago - No, I mean a asteroid, like a space satellite. Roger Clemens got a ass-steroid up his butt. 200motels - You're a pretty wild guy, there Mr. Lumbago. Lumbago - I'm a artist. Not like other people. 200motels - I'll say! Lumbago - Now look, here's my great masterpiece. It's Terrell Owens from the Dallas Cowboys. He's a-lose da game an' now he's a-cry. Oh, it's so tragedy, like-a Madonna what is holding da baby in her arms at da Fountain of Trevi in Roma. [Crosses himself] An' you see? He's a-cry. He's a-cry like a baby! 200motels - How do you get those tears? Lumbago - Dat'sa no tears. Dat's wine. If you wanna drink you just got to lick Terrell Owens' face an' you get drunk. Go ahead, have a drink! 200motels - That's a penalty I think I'll decline. Well, that's all for today, folks. See you next week, when we'll visit Michael Vick in his new dog house behind Levenworth Federal Penitentiary. |
| THE GREAT SPORTS SCULPTOR!!! |
| 200motels culture |
| Comedy |
| Tragedy |
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| Bullshit |
