| 200motels POLITICS |
| Comedy |
| Tragedy |
| Nonsense |
| Bullshit |
| [SCENARIO] The movie opens with Bush Blues waiting in a beat-up limo outside Walter Reade Medical Center for Cheney Blues, who escapes in a souped-up wheelchair dragging a bunch of IV racks and heart monitors behind him with orderlies in hot pursuit. They speed off. “We’re on a Mission From God!” says Bush to Cheney as he passes him a joint. “We’ ve got to get the tax cut to the Millionaires Club before the end of the fiscal year, or all the little millionaires will have to get jobs. “We’ve got to get the band back together!” While they are zooming back to Washington, they speed past Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, who is hiding in a squad car behind a billboard. He gives chase, and in the ensuing chaos they almost run over a gang of liberal Democrats, who are forced to jump over the Potomac Bridge into the river. The Democrats’ leader, Hairy Reid, swears, “When we catch up to that sonovabitch, we’re going to MESS HIM UP!” Bush and Cheney Blues pull up to their hideout in the Watergate, but before they can get in the door a Mysterious Woman in Red in the car across the street fires a rocket at them and destroys the front of the building. The rocket misses them, and they go up to Bush’s room for a meal of Cheez Whiz and whiskey. The next morning, Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald and a team of Federal Marshals show up at the Watergate to arrest the Blues Brothers, but just as they are about to enter the building, The Mysterious Woman in Red blows up the entire building by remote control and The Blues Brothers escape. They go to Condaleeza’s Soul Food Restaurant, where their guitar player, Rummy, is working as the short order cook. Rummy and Condaleeza are shacking up together, and Condaleeza sings a heartfelt rendition of “Don’t Torture Me!,” backed up by the dancing Harriet Miers, Sandra Day O’ Connor, and Olympia Snow, before Rummy throws down his apron and leaves to join the band. Their next stop is Chez Maricón, the French restaurant where Scooter Libby is working as maitre d’. When Scooter initially refuses to join the band, Bush and Cheney offer to buy the daughter of Michael Bloomberg, who is sitting at the next table, and start a food fight. Scooter finally agrees to join the band. They then proceed to the Comfort Inn, where Karl Rove is playing in a tacky little lounge band and singing “Besame Mucho” to an empty room. He also agrees to join the band. Bush and Cheney go to a telephone booth in the parking lot to call Jack Abramoff to line them up some gigs, but before they can make the call The Mysterious Woman in Red fires a flamethrower at them and ignites a butane tank next to the phone booth, sending Bush and Cheney hundreds of feet into the air. When they crash, Cheney cries, “Oh fuck, I’m gonna’ need a truss!” While the band is driving around looking for a gig, they pull up to a roadhouse called “Bubba’s Country Bunker.” The marquis announces “Tonight Only! Al Gore and The Tennessee Gentlemen.” The Blues Brothers go in and misrepresent themselves to the bar owner, Bubba Clinton, as the Tennessee Gentlemen, and he lets them perform the theme from “Rawhide” and “Stand By Your Man”, accompanying them on the saxophone. Just as they finish playing, Al Gore and his band show up. Enraged that the Blues Brothers have stolen their gig, Al Gore and the Tennessee Gentlemen chase them in his RV. The chase is joined by Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald, who is hiding in a speed trap, and Bubba, who the band has stiffed for their beer tab. They all crash into each other and The Blues Brothers get away. Bush and Cheney Blues finally get a meeting in a steam bath with agent Jack Abramoff, who gets them a gig on the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln. Bush and Cheney blanket Washington with posters and cruise the streets with a loudspeaker mounted on the limo announcing the “Mission Accomplished” show. Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald gets wind of the show and shows up with a gang of cops to arrest Bush and Cheney, who get delayed because they ran out of gas for their heap. Meanwhile, the rest of the band is onstage at the USS Abraham Lincoln, waiting for the lead performers to show up, and the audience of congressmen, Supreme Court justices and reporters is getting impatient. Colin Powell, dressed in white tails, saves the day with a rendition of “Minnie The Moocher,” which gets the audience jumping and clapping. Meanwhile, Bush and Cheney are sneaking into the show through a tunnel, but they are ambushed by The Mysterious Woman in Red, who turns out to be Judith Miller. She is distraught that Scooter Libby has left her waiting at the alter and blames Cheney Blues for breaking up her big romance. Cheney grabs Judith Miller, gives her a long kiss and throws her aside, leaving her in the mud. The Blues Brothers get to the stage, Bush wearing a navy flyer’s jumpsuit. They sing and dance like maniacs, so overwhelming the audience that it passes the Tax Cut by unanimous acclaim. Now Bush has to get back to The White House in time to sign the Tax Cut Bill before the stroke of midnight. The Blues Brothers manage to get back to their limo and lead Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald, Al Gore and The Tennessee Gentlemen, and Minority Leader Hairy Reid on a wild car chase through the Capitol Mall, where all the cars crash. Bush makes it to The Rose Garden, where he signs the Tax Cut Bill just as the clock chimes midnight, and all the little millionaires dance in the street. THE END |
| THE BLUES BROTHERS IN WASHINGTON (Bush and Cheney Blues) |
| 200motels NATIONAL POLITICS |
| Comedy |
| Tragedy |
| Nonsense |
| Bullshit |
