| RICK SANTORUM AND THE DEAD BABIES SOCIETY |
| 200motels: 2012 ELECTIONS |
| Comedy |
| Tragedy |
| Nonsense |
| Bullshit |
I can’t believe that nobody besides me thinks that this is funny.
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum admitted on
Piers Morgan that when his baby died at birth he took the
dead kid home with him instead of sending it to a mortuary for
burial. He said he wanted his family to bond with the dead kid
and relate to it as a person and family member.
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum admitted on
Piers Morgan that when his baby died at birth he took the
dead kid home with him instead of sending it to a mortuary for
burial. He said he wanted his family to bond with the dead kid
and relate to it as a person and family member.
Hey, great idea! Maybe when I depart this mortal
coil, I can have my body laminated in plastic and
put on display at Cha Cha’s Coney Island Bar,
where I have spent so many hours pickling myself
on their rotgut poison booze.
coil, I can have my body laminated in plastic and
put on display at Cha Cha’s Coney Island Bar,
where I have spent so many hours pickling myself
on their rotgut poison booze.
Seriously, it’s a fantastic
concept. I remember in the
1932 version of “Little Caesar”
how Edward G. Robinson’s
mother was so thrilled to
receive a little posthumous
visit from her son, whom the
rival gang had been kind
enough to deliver to her, tied
to a plank, after first riddling it
with forty-five bullet holes from
a Thompson submachine gun.
concept. I remember in the
1932 version of “Little Caesar”
how Edward G. Robinson’s
mother was so thrilled to
receive a little posthumous
visit from her son, whom the
rival gang had been kind
enough to deliver to her, tied
to a plank, after first riddling it
with forty-five bullet holes from
a Thompson submachine gun.
Santorum said that he hoped that his action would
inspire the public to revere the sanctity of human
life, and motivate young women who found
themselves to be pregnant to “soldier on” and bring
the kid to inception.
Yeah, soldier on! We're not discussing a detail of
hardened Foreign Legionnaires marching through
the dunes of Morocco to battle an army of renegade
Tuareg tribesmen, but a soft girl who gets knocked
up on a date, and whom Santorum then expects to
endure nine months of pregnancy, experience an
undesired childbirth and then be faced with the
alternative of a life sentence as a parent or the gut-
wrenching experience of an adoption process! This
Santorum is a primitive, punitive, moralistic idiot
who appears to care more about dead babies than
he does about live women.
inspire the public to revere the sanctity of human
life, and motivate young women who found
themselves to be pregnant to “soldier on” and bring
the kid to inception.
Yeah, soldier on! We're not discussing a detail of
hardened Foreign Legionnaires marching through
the dunes of Morocco to battle an army of renegade
Tuareg tribesmen, but a soft girl who gets knocked
up on a date, and whom Santorum then expects to
endure nine months of pregnancy, experience an
undesired childbirth and then be faced with the
alternative of a life sentence as a parent or the gut-
wrenching experience of an adoption process! This
Santorum is a primitive, punitive, moralistic idiot
who appears to care more about dead babies than
he does about live women.
As Lenny Bruce once advised
the pope, “Papi, If you no play-
a da game, you no make-a da
rules!”. Maybe Santorum
should move to New Jersey,
which is the only state in the
union where men are
statutorily empowered to be
the mothers of children, thanks
to an initiative by former New
Jersey governor Tim “I am a
Gay American” McGreevy to
facilitate the birth of babies
from gay guys’ butts. Of
course, after the kid is born
from the guy’s butt they have
to run it through a carwash to
remove all the brown stuff.
the pope, “Papi, If you no play-
a da game, you no make-a da
rules!”. Maybe Santorum
should move to New Jersey,
which is the only state in the
union where men are
statutorily empowered to be
the mothers of children, thanks
to an initiative by former New
Jersey governor Tim “I am a
Gay American” McGreevy to
facilitate the birth of babies
from gay guys’ butts. Of
course, after the kid is born
from the guy’s butt they have
to run it through a carwash to
remove all the brown stuff.
One can only imagine the joy that reigned over the Santorum household when he brought
home the kid’s corpse packed in dry ice. Naturally, the kid would be blue, adding to the festive
nature of the occasion. Santorum would tell his kids, “This is your new baby brother, Baby
Santorum. You can play with him”.
The kids would complain. “But daddy, we can‘t move his arms and legs because he’s too stiff!”
“Don’t worry”, Rick would answer, “It’s probably just a slight case of rigor mortis. Just sprinkle
a little meat tenderizer on him”.
“But whose room will he sleep in?”
“No problem. We’ll just throw him in the freezer”.
“What if he gets hungry?”
“All he requires is a pint of Quaker State Embalming Fluid, and he should be good to go”.
“Dad, can I take him to school for Show and Tell?”
“Why not? After all, he’s your little brother. In fact, I might take him on the campaign trail with
me as a prop, the same way Sarah Palin took her autistic kid on the road in 2008”. That would
make for a fantastic photo opportunity. Hell, I don’t see why Santorum can’t put together a
ventriloquist act using the kid as a marionette puppet.
home the kid’s corpse packed in dry ice. Naturally, the kid would be blue, adding to the festive
nature of the occasion. Santorum would tell his kids, “This is your new baby brother, Baby
Santorum. You can play with him”.
The kids would complain. “But daddy, we can‘t move his arms and legs because he’s too stiff!”
“Don’t worry”, Rick would answer, “It’s probably just a slight case of rigor mortis. Just sprinkle
a little meat tenderizer on him”.
“But whose room will he sleep in?”
“No problem. We’ll just throw him in the freezer”.
“What if he gets hungry?”
“All he requires is a pint of Quaker State Embalming Fluid, and he should be good to go”.
“Dad, can I take him to school for Show and Tell?”
“Why not? After all, he’s your little brother. In fact, I might take him on the campaign trail with
me as a prop, the same way Sarah Palin took her autistic kid on the road in 2008”. That would
make for a fantastic photo opportunity. Hell, I don’t see why Santorum can’t put together a
ventriloquist act using the kid as a marionette puppet.
But why stop with just bringing
home dead babies? You could
bring home grandpa after he
dies in the nursing home. No
need for a hearse, just wait for
him to get stiff from rigor mortis
and you balance him on the
back of your Suzuki! Then,
after the family has got
through playing with him, you
don’t have to take him to the
funeral home – just drop him
off at the taxidermist, where
they can stuff him and you can
mount him on the mantle.
home dead babies? You could
bring home grandpa after he
dies in the nursing home. No
need for a hearse, just wait for
him to get stiff from rigor mortis
and you balance him on the
back of your Suzuki! Then,
after the family has got
through playing with him, you
don’t have to take him to the
funeral home – just drop him
off at the taxidermist, where
they can stuff him and you can
mount him on the mantle.
I am apparently the only writer
who finds this episode to be
bizarre and Strangelovian.
Everybody else seems to be
accepting it with perfect
equanimity. Piers Morgan,
who discussed it with
Santorum on his CNN show,
said he didn’t find anything
peculiar about it at all. In fact,
the incident, which happened
in 1996, was even discussed
by Santorum himself in a book
about personal faith that he
published back then, which
nobody took note of.
who finds this episode to be
bizarre and Strangelovian.
Everybody else seems to be
accepting it with perfect
equanimity. Piers Morgan,
who discussed it with
Santorum on his CNN show,
said he didn’t find anything
peculiar about it at all. In fact,
the incident, which happened
in 1996, was even discussed
by Santorum himself in a book
about personal faith that he
published back then, which
nobody took note of.
The way I see it, the reason
this Santorum is so much
against abortion is because
his friends at Penn State need
more kids to molest. This
society has indulged aberrant
behavior by its public figures
since day one. It has to, since
the people at the top of the
socio-economic pyramid, the
ones who are the most crazy,
have got the most resources
to enforce their behavior. Now
that you have got a society
where 50% of the population
are on Prozac or Oxycodone,
and the top being ruled by
freakin nut jobs, a blank check
for weirdness is the order of
the day.
this Santorum is so much
against abortion is because
his friends at Penn State need
more kids to molest. This
society has indulged aberrant
behavior by its public figures
since day one. It has to, since
the people at the top of the
socio-economic pyramid, the
ones who are the most crazy,
have got the most resources
to enforce their behavior. Now
that you have got a society
where 50% of the population
are on Prozac or Oxycodone,
and the top being ruled by
freakin nut jobs, a blank check
for weirdness is the order of
the day.
This story is so bizarre that a
sane person can barely wrap
his mind around it. This
Santorum dead baby joke and
the public acceptance of it are
practically on a level with a
“Dawn of the Dead” zombie
parody, at least in my mind.
sane person can barely wrap
his mind around it. This
Santorum dead baby joke and
the public acceptance of it are
practically on a level with a
“Dawn of the Dead” zombie
parody, at least in my mind.
This episode of Santorum,
whose militant opposition to
gay rights has motivated the
gay subculture to apply his
name to a particularly
nauseating compound of
excretory secretions, bringing
the dead baby home to meet
his family would be at least
more comprehensible from an
archeological viewpoint if it
had taken place among the
primitive cannibal societies of
Borneo. The fact of it
happening in an advanced
industrial society shows you
how little distance we have
evolved from the mud. It’s just
the latest gag in a series of
Republican one-liners.
whose militant opposition to
gay rights has motivated the
gay subculture to apply his
name to a particularly
nauseating compound of
excretory secretions, bringing
the dead baby home to meet
his family would be at least
more comprehensible from an
archeological viewpoint if it
had taken place among the
primitive cannibal societies of
Borneo. The fact of it
happening in an advanced
industrial society shows you
how little distance we have
evolved from the mud. It’s just
the latest gag in a series of
Republican one-liners.
| "If you're not busy, can I get a beer?" |
| Hey, Rick, these are soldiers! |
...and this is a
woman, you moron!
woman, you moron!
| Mama I need a bath! |
CLICK HERE FOR HOME PAGE