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| 200motels BEIJING OLYMPICS |
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| 200motels POLITICS |
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Famous Tweets Throughout History |
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| People are getting stoopider and stoopider. As we progress on our inexorable ascent back up that ancestral family tree from whence descended our illustrious antecedents, we are assisted in that endeavor by the newest innovation in digital technology that our little, ape-like hands have been able to fashion – text messaging. Let there be no mistake. The public has spoken. Disheartened and frustrated by the evolution of human communication into complex constructions of thought and language that have left it feeling increasing marginalized and inadequate, society is striking back with a literary counter-revolution that elevates even the dullest dimwit to the level of a Shakespeare or a Nietzsche – tweeting, which reduces all of human wisdom and experience to the level of a retarded two year-old. But alack and alas! There is nothing new under the sun. The compression of human endeavor into a few stunted characters is not a recent phenomenon. It has always been going on, aided by the primitive forms of technology available to our progenitors – jungle drums, carrier pigeon, the telegraph. What is revolutionary is that the Twitter technology has delivered illiteracy into the service of those who have the least to say, the average garden variety twits who populate and fashion our Brave New World. Just to demonstrate how tweeting has always existed, and as a standard against which our contemporary vulgarized culture may be measured, 200motels has plumbed the archives of history for useful relics of abbreviated collective wisdom. As the child is father to the man, so may these ancient tweets prepare us for a new golden age of diminished intellectual capacity. |
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| “Ate a nice nurse for lunch” – Hannibal Lecter |
| “Had sex with the whole palace guard, including the horses” – Catherine the Great of Russia |
| “Getting ready for my big speech to the Roman senate” – Julius Caesar |
| “Looking forward to a pleasant evening at the theater” – Abraham Lincoln |
| “Can’t decide between the pink dress and the blue dress” – Rudolph Giuliani |
| “Wonder what I can get for Madonna as part of the ‘Cash for Clunkers’ program” – A-Rod |
| “Have developed a design for a new safety razor” – Dr. Guillotine |
| “At last I have succeeded in creating the perfect hockey player” – Dr. Frankenstein |
| “Another perfect morning at Pearl Harbor” – Admiral Nimitz |
| “All I need is one more whale and I can sail for home port” – Capt. Ahab |
| “I feel lucky” – Gen. Custer |
