| ELI MANNING: The Kid Stays In The Picture |
| 200motels NFL |
| It's hard to imagine, but some old people used to be young. One time there was a star struck young man from New York who ran out on his family business and went to Hollywood to be in pictures. He landed a hot part as the bullfighter that Ava Gardner runs away with in the film version of Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises." The wise guy film executives who were a bunch of trash talking, backbiting, bottom-feeding lowlife schmucks, ran to the film's producer, Darryl F. Zanuck, and complained about the young actor. "This guy stinks!" they exclaimed. "He's a loser. He can't act his way out of a paper bag!" Zanuck, who may not have had the wisdom of King Solomon but was nevertheless smarter than all these turkeys put together, regally ordained, "The kid stays in the picture." "The kid" was Robert Evans, who eventually produced "The Godfather," "Chinatown," "Rosemary's Baby" and a host of other worldwide blockbuster entertainments. Today New York has its own "kid," Eli Manning. And the critics are howling for his blood as well. As my old boss, Pops, who couldn't read or write for shit but ended his life as an immensely rich man, God Rest His Soul, once pronounced to me in a stentorian exclamation, "Thoroughbreds are not made, they're born." My practical experience leads me to fervently believe in the truthfulness of that statement. Some are born with athletic ability and some not, me - not. I have been training and playing sports my whole life, and the most you can say about me is that I can fit into the freight elevator without first having to grease my backside with chicken fat to pop through the door. I couldn't throw a 40-yard touchdown pass with a defensive line of 300-lb.tackles trying to squash me if you offered me a million bucks. I don't have the genetics. As Pops patiently explained me, thoroughbred racehorses derive from bloodlines. That's why Secretariat earned countless millions for doing what comes naturally, and it's the same with people. It's for that reason that I would advise any football-mad woman who dreams of giving birth to an All American quarterback to try to arrange a date with 1978 NFL MVP Archie Manning. He sired two fine quarterbacks, Peyton and Eli. Peyton Manning, nobody is disputing. But Eli is a little more controversial. He bobbles the ball. Sometimes he gets sacked and thrown for a loss. More frequently than that he has a tendency to land passes into the loving arms of grateful defensive interceptors like he did last weekend to Buffalo linebacker Keith Ellison, leading to Marshawn Lynch's TD one minute into the second half ha-ha! Five fumbles and two interceptions - I almost choked up my beer! Never mind that. The Giants did a fantastic job of running the ball and dominating the second half against Buffalo. Brandon Jacobs was obviously the sparkplug of keeping them in the game through its most difficult moments, and I totally despaired when he was forced out with an injury - until I saw Ahmet Bradshaw totally take control of the game, shooting 88 yards down the icy field like a freakin Roman candle. The Giants are loaded with talent in depth. They have so much star quality that I'm not going to list it right here. I'm just going to get to the point. Anybody who suggests that the Giants should avoid taking chances against the Patriots to avoid injuries going into the playoffs is obviously smoking inferior quality stuff. The Patriots are not Team Terminator, they are a team of men who are riding an incredible string of good luck. Oh yeah, they got talent and they're motivated. They got Tom Brady, but if you take him out of the equation the Giants are man-for-man the equal of the Patriots any day. In terms of Eli Manning, maybe at this early stage of his career he is not equal of Brady or of his brother, but he has closely adhered to Tom Coughlin's and Kevin Gilbride's offensive strategy, and he has captained a very satisfying 10-5 season, leading to a playoff spot, for the fans. Manning has got talent and he has got a big heart. You never know, backed up by all the excellent talent that the Giants possess, he might have a fantastic day against New England and completely tear up all the smug prognostications of Patriot invincibility. Wouldn't that be something! As for all the bloated, corrupt, drunken New York sportswriters who are using Eli Manning as a trampoline despite all his obviously fine qualities, I have only one thing to say by way of a riposte: "The kid stays in the picture." |
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